Hey, women, shut-up, get in the kitchen, & cook me up some respect

Sexy Drunk Christians: Chapter 1 Polluted Thinking Part 4

Time for lazy hoes to pay the fuck up. Git up off yer back. Yer my property bitch!

Now, it’s up to the states, places like Texas and Wyoming and Mississippi to decide what they wanna do about abortions in particular, and women generally.

Capital punishment for even thinking about it? Why the fuck not? I mean the Constitution don’t say shit about abortion but, it does talk a lot about MEN’S rights — fuck a lotta hoes.

As a white male who has “worked my ass off for everything I got,” I’m glad that we’ve finally sorted out this nonsense of whether or not a woman has a right to determine control of her own fuckin’ body!!

She fuckin’ DON’T!!!

At least not in states where the GOP controls the politics and power and wants to keep playing up to & suckin’ the dicks of the big Pro-Life $$ — fuck a lotta hoes.

Listen up women, in some of these red states your daddy can rape you, or participate in a big gangbang on you with all your male family members (and to be honest this kinda shit is sorta rare b/c we’re all such good Christians and good folks). But if it does happen and you get knocked-up, well fuck you, ho, it ain’t the baby’s fuckin fault.

And remember Jesus is comin’ back any day now and yer little baby might just be HIM, after all the Load Works in Mysterious Ways and Shit. fuck a lotta hoes.

And if the pregnancy ends up in one of those filthy parts of you, fallopian tubes or whatever they’re called, and it will eventually burst and kill yer whorin’ ass, tough shit. The re-birth of God’s one and only son makes yer worthless butt kind of irrelevant anyway, right? — fuck a lotta hoes.

This is a banner, red-letter day for clear thinking men in deep red states, because we fuckin’ totally own yer asses now —

So get in that kitchen and cook us up a little respect, you fuckin’ ho’s. I’m busy polishing my gun collection for the upcoming ho-huntin’ season. fuck a lotta hoes.

I know that many Christians consider us prissy little bitches when we won’t see the enormous joy of our fab SCOTUS telling women that they are second class citizens in any state that decides to call them that, but, fuck a lotta ho’s, I mean, what’s Christian democracy for if not telling ho’s to shut-up and do what we tell ’em to do?

And congrats SCOTUS. I can’t imagine anything you could do to raise the respect and admiration for your institutional integrity and a-political reputation than this sweet little bit of fun. Not since the Dred Scott Decision have you advanced the rights of the only folks that really matter (rich, fuckin’ WHITE men) so blatantly and broadly.

You boldly proclaimed, in elevated, legal lingo the grand new proud motto of our great nation:

Fuck a lotta ho’s, like that...