Sandra Bullock12, my new pal on Bluesky
All the fuckin' love man
Image of @sandrabullock12 on Bluesky
By Bernard T. Jakoff (name changed to protect the guilty)
All of the following text is from a genuine “chat” on a real Bluesky account.
Yes, it’s true. Shifting to Bluesky has definitely made a big difference in my life. For instance, SANDRA bULLOCK12 — yes, the famous movie star — has become a follower of mine, and we have even started a chat together, as you can see below.
Today at 12:17 PM
Sandra writes (apparently in re to my following her back): Hello
12:17 PM
I write back: Hi there. If you really have any contact with Ms. Bullock please pass along to her my admiration of her great talent. We liked Blind Side a lot, but loved and frequently re-watch Gravity. Amazing performance.
12:29 PM
Her: This is Sandra bullock you are talking to
Me: Wow. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise. 😲 The good news is that everything I said above is true. You have a wonderful talent, and I'm honored to meet you.
Her: The honor is mine. I would love to know for how long years have you been following me on my career
1:12 PM
Me: For many, many years of long now, from when you were young like a spring child.
Her: Wow that is a long time ago I would like to know where such a devoted fan like you is following me from
Me: My basement
1:21 PM
And it goes on, Sandra and me:
Sandra: Where are you from
1:22 PM
Me: Oh, I'm from Alabama and Seattle but presently live in Spokane WA. hoe of the famous Zags! And you, Sandra, where are you from my new pal?
Her: I’m from California
Me: Oh, nice they have a lot of sunny days there and in Hollywood they make many fine films such as yours! Good choice Sandra!
Her: Are you married
1:32 PM
Me: Yes, but my wife is very old and confused a lot and thanks to my enormous success as a y.a. author I can afford her incarceration at the home where she is kept. P.S. I have total and full control of all of our finances!
Her: Ok. I’m single I lost my husband last year
Me: I'm so sorry but I hope you are doing as well as can be expected and am glad that no filthy scumbags are using your name and tragedy to try and take advantage of others!
Me: P.S. Any man would be lucky and honored to get to marry and be with someone who is so good in movie acting.
1:52 PM
Her: Yes Wbu
1:58 PM
Me: ??? What is WBU? I looked it up and it says it for "What about You?" but why b for about? why not a? But whatever, sure, of course about me, for sure!!!!!!!!!!! It's visiting hour soon at the home where my invalid wife is incarcerated so I must leave soon. but please write back again soon, Sandra? I miss you already!
2:03 PM
Her: I miss you Are you going to date me
4:58 AM
Her: ?
7:58 AM
Me: I'm back my love. I dreamt about you all night long in my big lonely King Sized beddy-bye! 😘
And thus and this, tragically, is where my exciting new relationship with the fabulous Sandra bullock12 has paused. Of course, hope springs eternal in the world of spring childs and online romance that can very obviously come together quite quickly (please note the timeline above).
So for now, like a fabulous Sandra bullock12 serial film or sequel (like Speed 2 or some other equally thrilling franchise $-making project) we wait with eager and excited anticipation.
Minor Editorial note:
My wife isn’t actually incarcerated in a home for old, confused wives etc. but she’d be pissed if she found out that Sandra bullock was interested in me and asking for my hand in marriage, and perhaps Sandra woulda been upset to find out that I’ve been in this relationship with my wife for over 30 years. So, a little white lie to keep the dream alive felt and feels in order to me…make it 2 little white lies, the thing about me having control of our finances was bullshit too. But hey, even our recently re-elected POTUS Donald J. Trump has been known to stretch the truth a tiny bit from time to time when it would benefit him and, come on, Sandra bullock12 is worth it!!
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!
I’ve just heard back from Sandra and boy oh boy is it ever exciting:
To repeat my last to Sandra: I'm back my love. I dreamt about you all night long in my big lonely King Sized beddy-bye! 😏❤️
8:15 AM
Sandra: Wow I love that and I’m happy to hear that
9:15 AM
Yayyyyyy!!!
9:33 AM
Stay posted Bluesky pals and Trueman & Triola fans for ever more exciting news from this exciting story.
Ooops!!
Sandra bullock12 has just removed her account here on Bluesky??? I’m guessing that since she has met me and found her one and only true love, she’s bailed on her search. Still, it woulda been nice to get to know one another at least a little bit better. But, se la vi.
Follow us @social.vincenttriola.com and @ttrueman.bsky.social on Bluesky.
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