Taking the “Homo” Out of Sexual
Pastor Christian T. Roll Explains the Causes & Cures of Homosexuality
Welcome to the Church of the Redeemed Whore! As you can see, we are in the Spirit today, praying for another great sermon. Today's teaching is about Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction. Notice I didn't say "gay" or "lesbian" because saying those words gives credence to the idea that they are real identities and variations in sexual nature. The Bible is quite clear on this topic:
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Leviticus 18:22
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. Leviticus 20:13
That's the Christian way!
Clearly, there is a problem because atheists believe homosexuality is normal, which it can't possibly be since the Bible says otherwise. Obviously, we're not going to logically convince a lying, heathen atheist because he's too stupid to believe in God much less than Bible. No, today we're going to have to bring out the big guns – Christian science!
Thousands of years of Christian science provides two primary causes of same-sex attraction: daddy issues and lack of sports skill. The good Christian scientists at the Catholic Education Resource Center discuss these causes:
In a culture dominated by sports heroes, it's easy to understand how a young boy who can't play ball or run fast may not feel very good about himself - especially when this is accompanied by ridicule from his peers and perhaps even exclusion and isolation. He may escape the resulting loneliness with academics or by cultivating comfortable relationships with girls.
"The sports wound will negatively affect the image of himself, his relationships with peers, his gender identity, and his body image," Fitzgibbons writes. "His negative view of his masculinity and his loneliness can lead him to crave the masculinity of his male peers."
How does this happen? Well, men raised by non-Christians are at the highest risk of same-sex attraction because they never had their masculinity reinforced. From the moment a kid exits the womb, he must be constantly exposed to Jesus and sports to make him an alpha male worthy of holding a Bible. This is what a real alpha male looks like.
Notice how this young man is intent on sports training. Nothing breaks his concentration. Soon he will grow into a God-fearing Christian man like this:
That's what a real man looks like!
Sadly, many men are not raised as alpha males like Matt Gaetz but as homos because atheist homosexual liars steal children's manhood and convince them to be whiny women. Don't believe me? Just look with horror at these non-Christians turning children into homosexuals!
Don't think girls are safe either! Researchers at the Catholic Education Resource Center tell us:
In females, the mistrust of men's love is one of the major conflicts a woman may choose to "resolve" in a homosexual relationship. She may have had a distant, emotionally insensitive or even abusive father and grows up with a fear of being vulnerable to men.
Women who have been betrayed in love relationships may also seek safety in a relationship with a woman. Women who are sexually abused or raped as children may find it almost impossible to trust men and turn to a woman instead for affection.
These horrible atheist homosexuals destroy Christianity by normalizing same-sex attraction and eroding women's dependence on men. What's a feeble-minded girl to do once she doesn't trust men any longer?
LGBTQ!
Suddenly, your daughter is holding a pride parade in your backyard!
The disturbing nature of same-sex attraction only worsens when you realize this insidious disease became the tool of the atheist, socialist, homosexual agenda that's bent on making Christians weaklings. Undaunted, Christian scientists work round the clock studying the same-sex attraction problem because, despite the disgusting, foul practice of homosex, selfless Christians believe all lives matter and seek a cure.
Using the most advanced technologies, Christian scientists discovered another force driving homosex - which we knew all along! Lack of Jesus allows evil to flourish, and that evil is,
Homo Demon!
Unsuspecting atheists go to bed completely unaware of the demonic forces they allowed into their lives. Homo demon and his band of evil fairies work their dark magic during the night while atheists sleep.
The next day atheists awaken, and this happens,
Don't think you're safe because you're a Christian! No, the atheists condemned everyone by opening the portal to hell's homo plane. The only thing that can stop Homo Demon is the power of Christ, specifically,
Christ's Condom
Each night, good Christians need to say their prayers and slip into Christ's Condom before bed. Nothing protects a Christian from Homo Demon like the power of Christ's full-body Condom!
As you can see, Christian science reveals the causes and cure for unwanted same sex attraction. More importantly, the only protection from Homo Demon is the power of Christ's Condom. Though the evil unleashed upon the world by atheist homosexuals can be frightening, luckily for Christians, Jesus and sports are the cure!
Join me next time when we discuss the how to get a good Christian woman.